Ever feel like giving up?
Ever since we've been in Arkansas, I've experienced high highs and low lows in all areas of my life: marriage, parenting, finances, walk with God, job, etc. Just when I think things are going good, I am blindsided by another trial or struggle.
About 2 weeks ago, I was sick and tired of it. I was sick and tired of people telling me, "God is good", or "God will get you through", or one of my favorites, "Just spend more time in God's word." Although all these things are right on track, it didn't meet my need of the moment (Romans 12:15).
My small group community was bearing the brunt of my frustration 2 Sunday's ago and a friend my mine pointedly asked me what I was going to change. This definitely feel into the category of not meeting my need of the moment, but he asked the question with a loving spirit so I listened and pondered an answer while I verbally vented some more.
I continued to explain that his question was exactly the source of my frustration. I shared that I'm not experiencing the victory I think I should be (because of my effort in seeking God) in areas that I have been continually struggling in for years. In fact, in alot of areas its getting worse!!
He then asked the question that penetrated all the deception that I was experiencing, "How's your prayer life?" I couldn't say anything. You know the feeling you have when you know you heard a word from the Lord? This was one of those times.
My mind immediately recalled my time with the Lord over the past 18 months: Bible reading, Bible Study, Church, Worship, Small Group, Prayer? Very sporadic. Very VERY sporadic.
What I realized in that moment has radically changed my perspective. Seeking God's face through prayer has led me to block out the lies I was starting to believe about myself:
I'm done...
I'm never going to change...
God can't use a broken person like me, etc...
...and replace them with a deeper truth about who God is and who I am in Him.
Literally with hands raised and wanting to shout God's name (I would but Calvin is sleeping upstairs) I declare that God is good...faithful...all powerful...perfectly loving...my all in all.
Here's to the power of prayer. No...but rather to the power of God that is revealed through seeking his face through prayer.
H
