...and why I bug myself!
Read a little Oswald this morning and this statement really connected with me.
"Goodness and purity should never be traits that draw attention to themselves, but should simply by magnets that draw people to Jesus Christ. A person who is a beautiful saint can be a hindrance in leading people to the Lord be presenting only what Christ has done for him, instead of presenting Jesus Christ himself."
Someone told me recently that the people that bug me the most represent the flaws I see in myself. How painfully true!
Oswald's statement represents one of those areas for me. I constantly have to check my motivation for doing the things I do. I'm tempted to do good things to glorify myself instead of glorifying and presenting Christ to others - 1 Corinthians 10:31.
Lord help my motivation for everything I do to be to give glory to You, and help me to see others as you see them.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, May 19, 2008
Giving up...
Ever feel like giving up?
Ever since we've been in Arkansas, I've experienced high highs and low lows in all areas of my life: marriage, parenting, finances, walk with God, job, etc. Just when I think things are going good, I am blindsided by another trial or struggle.
About 2 weeks ago, I was sick and tired of it. I was sick and tired of people telling me, "God is good", or "God will get you through", or one of my favorites, "Just spend more time in God's word." Although all these things are right on track, it didn't meet my need of the moment (Romans 12:15).
My small group community was bearing the brunt of my frustration 2 Sunday's ago and a friend my mine pointedly asked me what I was going to change. This definitely feel into the category of not meeting my need of the moment, but he asked the question with a loving spirit so I listened and pondered an answer while I verbally vented some more.
I continued to explain that his question was exactly the source of my frustration. I shared that I'm not experiencing the victory I think I should be (because of my effort in seeking God) in areas that I have been continually struggling in for years. In fact, in alot of areas its getting worse!!
He then asked the question that penetrated all the deception that I was experiencing, "How's your prayer life?" I couldn't say anything. You know the feeling you have when you know you heard a word from the Lord? This was one of those times.
My mind immediately recalled my time with the Lord over the past 18 months: Bible reading, Bible Study, Church, Worship, Small Group, Prayer? Very sporadic. Very VERY sporadic.
What I realized in that moment has radically changed my perspective. Seeking God's face through prayer has led me to block out the lies I was starting to believe about myself:
I'm done...
I'm never going to change...
God can't use a broken person like me, etc...
...and replace them with a deeper truth about who God is and who I am in Him.
Literally with hands raised and wanting to shout God's name (I would but Calvin is sleeping upstairs) I declare that God is good...faithful...all powerful...perfectly loving...my all in all.
Here's to the power of prayer. No...but rather to the power of God that is revealed through seeking his face through prayer.
H
Ever since we've been in Arkansas, I've experienced high highs and low lows in all areas of my life: marriage, parenting, finances, walk with God, job, etc. Just when I think things are going good, I am blindsided by another trial or struggle.
About 2 weeks ago, I was sick and tired of it. I was sick and tired of people telling me, "God is good", or "God will get you through", or one of my favorites, "Just spend more time in God's word." Although all these things are right on track, it didn't meet my need of the moment (Romans 12:15).
My small group community was bearing the brunt of my frustration 2 Sunday's ago and a friend my mine pointedly asked me what I was going to change. This definitely feel into the category of not meeting my need of the moment, but he asked the question with a loving spirit so I listened and pondered an answer while I verbally vented some more.
I continued to explain that his question was exactly the source of my frustration. I shared that I'm not experiencing the victory I think I should be (because of my effort in seeking God) in areas that I have been continually struggling in for years. In fact, in alot of areas its getting worse!!
He then asked the question that penetrated all the deception that I was experiencing, "How's your prayer life?" I couldn't say anything. You know the feeling you have when you know you heard a word from the Lord? This was one of those times.
My mind immediately recalled my time with the Lord over the past 18 months: Bible reading, Bible Study, Church, Worship, Small Group, Prayer? Very sporadic. Very VERY sporadic.
What I realized in that moment has radically changed my perspective. Seeking God's face through prayer has led me to block out the lies I was starting to believe about myself:
I'm done...
I'm never going to change...
God can't use a broken person like me, etc...
...and replace them with a deeper truth about who God is and who I am in Him.
Literally with hands raised and wanting to shout God's name (I would but Calvin is sleeping upstairs) I declare that God is good...faithful...all powerful...perfectly loving...my all in all.
Here's to the power of prayer. No...but rather to the power of God that is revealed through seeking his face through prayer.
H
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Will you rescue me?
This past week I took the family to the Big Dam Bridge. It is the worlds longest walking bridge that goes across the Arkansas River. If you've been watching the news this past week, you've probably seen some headlines about the flooding in and around Arkansas. You should have seen the water running 100 ft underneath the bridge. It intimidated me. The dirty water had visible whirlpools everywhere, white water, and I know there where undercurrents all over the place.
The kids were running ahead of us having a blast. Next thing I know, I look up and Zac and Ryland are climbing up the railing to get a better look at the water underneath. I had a moment of panic...then a moment of anger...then a realization that there's no way they could possibly fall over. I somewhat calmly yelled ahead telling them to get down.
I turned and told Star that I wouldn't even hesitate jump in if Zac or Ryland would have fallen over even though with the strength and dirtiness of the water below, I know it would be tough to find and rescue them.
Kylie was walking with Star and I listening and observing, and turned to me and asked, "Daddy would you jump in after me?" The tone of her voice and her body language told Star and I that she was asking a serious question. I hugged her and said, "Absolutely!"...and gave her a hug.
You had to be there and also understand the dynamic of our family to get the significance of this moment, but it was a defining moment for her. She wanted to know at 13 if I would still rescue and save her if she got into trouble.
Sometimes I forget that she's still a little girl. Sometimes she assumes the responsibility and seemingly has more maturity than some adults I know, but at her core she is still a little girl and needs to know that her Daddy would rescue her if she needed to be rescued.
Come to think of it, Star needs to know that I'd rescue her too. Does a girl ever loose that need? I don't think so.
Lord, help me to always let my girls know that I'd rescue them.
The kids were running ahead of us having a blast. Next thing I know, I look up and Zac and Ryland are climbing up the railing to get a better look at the water underneath. I had a moment of panic...then a moment of anger...then a realization that there's no way they could possibly fall over. I somewhat calmly yelled ahead telling them to get down.
I turned and told Star that I wouldn't even hesitate jump in if Zac or Ryland would have fallen over even though with the strength and dirtiness of the water below, I know it would be tough to find and rescue them.
Kylie was walking with Star and I listening and observing, and turned to me and asked, "Daddy would you jump in after me?" The tone of her voice and her body language told Star and I that she was asking a serious question. I hugged her and said, "Absolutely!"...and gave her a hug.
You had to be there and also understand the dynamic of our family to get the significance of this moment, but it was a defining moment for her. She wanted to know at 13 if I would still rescue and save her if she got into trouble.
Sometimes I forget that she's still a little girl. Sometimes she assumes the responsibility and seemingly has more maturity than some adults I know, but at her core she is still a little girl and needs to know that her Daddy would rescue her if she needed to be rescued.
Come to think of it, Star needs to know that I'd rescue her too. Does a girl ever loose that need? I don't think so.
Lord, help me to always let my girls know that I'd rescue them.
Monday, March 10, 2008
At the foot of the Cross...
I recently went on a personal day long retreat at a conference center on 40 acres in central Texas. The acreage was absolutely gorgeous, and God showed me a ton of truth through his creation that day. The property is set up for personal and weekend retreats and has different themed trails that take you through a time of praise, confession, or thanksgiving. It was awesome.
Throughout the trails, there were places set aside to sit and journal, pray, read scripture and listen for God's still small voice. God revealed so much to me that day! Each scheduled stop on the trails were full of rich scripture reading and quiet meditation where God rejuvenated my heart....until the afternoon.
About 2:00 in the afternoon I came to another scheduled stop and read the recommended scripture and prayed. There was a bench underneath a 9 or 10 ft cross where I sat and waited for God to reveal something to me.
I waited.
I waited some more.
At this point in the day, I had a very expectant spirit. God had revealed so much to me throughout the day, and I was waiting patiently, no, impatiently for God to reveal something else. I sat for what seemed like 30 or 45 minutes. My mind wandered from one insignificant thought to another.
After a while, I decided to lie down on the bench and look a the clear blue sky. Maybe God would allow me to see him if I looked hard enough (just kidding)! But really, it was that kind of day. Nothing would have surprised me.
But...nothing happened. No revelation. No conviction. No call to do something. Nothing. Just quiet. So I shut my eyes. I don't know how long I slept, but I was obviously tired because I don't remember lying there very long. I remember waking up half frustrated and wanting to get on to the next trail for God to reveal something to me.
As I started walking away from the bench I turned around looked back at my place of rest. Then God showed me what I was trying so desperately to realize earlier...There is rest at the foot of the cross!
I immediately got chill bumps and sensed God's presence on my time once again realizing He had never really left. I was so caught up in trying to "hear from God" that I almost missed exactly what he wanted from me in that moment...to rest.
There was so much life meaning and significance in that entire day, but by far the most important thing God taught me is to know when to rest at his feet.
Please help me to know when to work, when to speak, when to pray, when to encourage, when to listen....and when to rest at your feet.
H
Throughout the trails, there were places set aside to sit and journal, pray, read scripture and listen for God's still small voice. God revealed so much to me that day! Each scheduled stop on the trails were full of rich scripture reading and quiet meditation where God rejuvenated my heart....until the afternoon.
About 2:00 in the afternoon I came to another scheduled stop and read the recommended scripture and prayed. There was a bench underneath a 9 or 10 ft cross where I sat and waited for God to reveal something to me.
I waited.
I waited some more.
At this point in the day, I had a very expectant spirit. God had revealed so much to me throughout the day, and I was waiting patiently, no, impatiently for God to reveal something else. I sat for what seemed like 30 or 45 minutes. My mind wandered from one insignificant thought to another.
After a while, I decided to lie down on the bench and look a the clear blue sky. Maybe God would allow me to see him if I looked hard enough (just kidding)! But really, it was that kind of day. Nothing would have surprised me.
But...nothing happened. No revelation. No conviction. No call to do something. Nothing. Just quiet. So I shut my eyes. I don't know how long I slept, but I was obviously tired because I don't remember lying there very long. I remember waking up half frustrated and wanting to get on to the next trail for God to reveal something to me.
As I started walking away from the bench I turned around looked back at my place of rest. Then God showed me what I was trying so desperately to realize earlier...There is rest at the foot of the cross!
I immediately got chill bumps and sensed God's presence on my time once again realizing He had never really left. I was so caught up in trying to "hear from God" that I almost missed exactly what he wanted from me in that moment...to rest.
There was so much life meaning and significance in that entire day, but by far the most important thing God taught me is to know when to rest at his feet.
Please help me to know when to work, when to speak, when to pray, when to encourage, when to listen....and when to rest at your feet.
H
Hands vs. Face
Do you seek God's hands or his Face?
A friend of mine was explaining the difference to me a couple weeks ago, and it really hit home. When you seek God's hands you are seeking something from him, but seeking God's face is seeking Him alone.
Since God is our ultimate provider of all things, He commands us to ask for help in our time of need, strength in our time of weakness, protection in our time of vulnerability, and also for provision in our time of need. So its not that we shouldn't ask him for things from his hands, we just need to ask with the right motive and for the right purposes. That's where I get messed up. I ask with selfish motives that I label as "upright and pure".
I ask with a desire to be delivered from sin so that I won't have to deal with that struggle. Or, I ask God to bless my finances so I can be free from worry and live a more "secure life". Or most embarrassingly, I ask God to cleanse me and make me holy so that I can, "...be on display in God's showcase so I can say, 'This is what God has done for me.' "
"Our motive for seeking God should not be for any personal gain at all."
Oswald Chambers
My application is to seek God's face and to ask Him to help me understand His purposes in whatever circumstances (lack or in plenty) he allows in my life all for the purpose of giving him Glory.
H
A friend of mine was explaining the difference to me a couple weeks ago, and it really hit home. When you seek God's hands you are seeking something from him, but seeking God's face is seeking Him alone.
Since God is our ultimate provider of all things, He commands us to ask for help in our time of need, strength in our time of weakness, protection in our time of vulnerability, and also for provision in our time of need. So its not that we shouldn't ask him for things from his hands, we just need to ask with the right motive and for the right purposes. That's where I get messed up. I ask with selfish motives that I label as "upright and pure".
I ask with a desire to be delivered from sin so that I won't have to deal with that struggle. Or, I ask God to bless my finances so I can be free from worry and live a more "secure life". Or most embarrassingly, I ask God to cleanse me and make me holy so that I can, "...be on display in God's showcase so I can say, 'This is what God has done for me.' "
"Our motive for seeking God should not be for any personal gain at all."
Oswald Chambers
My application is to seek God's face and to ask Him to help me understand His purposes in whatever circumstances (lack or in plenty) he allows in my life all for the purpose of giving him Glory.
H
Thursday, March 6, 2008
I finally found my password...
I lost my password to this blog, but I finally found it...or something like that. Seriously though, it has been a while. God has been teaching me very cool things about his Grace. I'm learning I am only scratching the surface on the subject. And I'm learning my view on Grace has been a bit limited.
I understood God's grace more clearly than ever the day I first believed. But ever since then I've been deceived into thinking I need Grace less and less the more "spiritually mature" I become. I now realize there could be nothing further from the truth.
The truth is that as I become closer to God, the more I realize how much I need his Grace each day...every hour...every minute of every day. This is a humbling realization.
I need more Grace today than ever...Lord please help me to realize this and humbly accept it from you.
H
I understood God's grace more clearly than ever the day I first believed. But ever since then I've been deceived into thinking I need Grace less and less the more "spiritually mature" I become. I now realize there could be nothing further from the truth.
The truth is that as I become closer to God, the more I realize how much I need his Grace each day...every hour...every minute of every day. This is a humbling realization.
I need more Grace today than ever...Lord please help me to realize this and humbly accept it from you.
H
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
One word
About 3 years ago, a friend asked me what one word best describes my relationship with God. Without hesitation, I responded with, "Responsibility". As soon as I said the word I desperately wanted to take it back. Responsibility? One word that best describes my relationship with my creator, the person that loves me more than I can imagine, and the word that comes to mind is responsibility?
Not even realizing the depth of my answer, my friend asked me to think about how it would make my wife feel if I used the same word, responsibility, to best describe out relationship. Wow. I started to realize how warped my relationship with God had become.
Walter Bruegggerman suggests that faith on its way to maturity moves from "duty (responsibility) to delight." I think a agree.
As I think about the past 3 years that followed that question, I realize that I'm on a journey. One that will not end soon, but one that promises great things. My motivation for serving God is moving away from duty, and getting closer to delight. I don't have to serve God...I get to serve God.
This morning as I get ready to start 2008 I am excited about getting the opportunity to experience life to the full through delighting in God each day. I know this is a pretty pie in the sky - cliche type statement, but for me I believe its a start to experiencing God the way he intended.
Hans
Not even realizing the depth of my answer, my friend asked me to think about how it would make my wife feel if I used the same word, responsibility, to best describe out relationship. Wow. I started to realize how warped my relationship with God had become.
Walter Bruegggerman suggests that faith on its way to maturity moves from "duty (responsibility) to delight." I think a agree.
As I think about the past 3 years that followed that question, I realize that I'm on a journey. One that will not end soon, but one that promises great things. My motivation for serving God is moving away from duty, and getting closer to delight. I don't have to serve God...I get to serve God.
This morning as I get ready to start 2008 I am excited about getting the opportunity to experience life to the full through delighting in God each day. I know this is a pretty pie in the sky - cliche type statement, but for me I believe its a start to experiencing God the way he intended.
Hans
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